Saturday, May 28, 2011

At Least I Didn't Birth Them Both

My children are a mere 14 months apart. Actually, they're 13 months and 29 days apart. That day makes a big difference!

I have had people ask me if they're twins. Seriously? SB is much bigger than Mac, but maybe they just figure since they're a boy and girl that they got difference size genes.
The first few months I would take the kids out by myself people did give me looks - SB had just turned 2 and Mac was 10 months when he came home. It was pretty obvious they were close in age. I had several people make comments to me, "Don't you know what causes that?" Strangers, I mean! "Yes," I would say, "Adoption causes it." That usually quieted people pretty fast.

But the notion doesn't escape me - IF I had given birth to Mac I would have gotten pregnant when SB was 5 months old. I can't imagine. I was so far into the throws of PPD (post pardum depression) I probably would have jumped off a bridge if I had had an infant and a growing stomach - again.

It sounds kind of mean and sarcastic of me to say I'm glad I didn't birth both my children, but it's the truth. For one, I think I would have keeled over if I had birthed two children that close together. I was exhausted as it was, and I had plenty of energy when Mac came home.
Secondly, I needed that extra year to prepare for a 2nd child. Yes, if you count back, we applied to adopt when SB was only 6 months old - but we must have know it would take a long time. And it did...about 18 months until we brought Mac home.
Third. Well. We wouldn't have had Mac if I had given birth to him. We would have had someone else entirely. It wouldn't have been Mac. Adoption brought him into our family and there was no other way to do that.

So I don't apologize for saying I'm glad I didn't birth both my children. Our family dynamic would have been completely different if I had. And I think I would have become even crazier than I already am.

Family picture, Jan 2009 with a 1 year old and a 2 year old.


laney said...

Love this post! My "chosen" child was 6 months old when I got pregnant... So glad God had a different plan than for me to birth them both! God gave me just what I needed, though at the time it didn't feel that way. I remember wishing so hard to get pregnant even after we started the adoption process... The truth was I couldn't have "birthed" the perfect son for me. So glad it was all in His hands and so glad I didn't birth them both!

The Woven Moments said...

I'm glad I didn't birth both of my kids, too!


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