Duck Wisdom

If you haven't been watching Duck Dynasty you're missing out. This little gem airs on A&E and it's about a family who makes duck calls. Except, it's nothing about the duck calls, but the quirks and nuances of the Robertson family.''

This is a family of bearded rednecks who do all kinds of silly (and fun) things, but at the end of the day sit down for a family meal and pray.
The patriarch of the family, Phil, has turned into a Christian speaker, which is awesome. He shares he faith and is quick to credit God with all he has.
Willie is the CEO of their business. He's just as crazy as the rest of them. But I greatly admire him and his wife, Korie, because they are adoptive parents! I love seeing adoption shed in a wonderful light in real life!

But the real gem of this show is Uncle Si. His words of wisdom (words of pure craze?) have become iconic to Duck Dynasty fans! I mean, who comes up with this stuff other than Si?

"Whether you're talkin' about bees, dogs or women, Pain can come up on you QUICKLY ..."

"Hey, I'm telling you we can't fix this. You can't fix stupid."

"Work hard. Nap hard. Hey, that's what I always say, Jack."

Si is a HOOT! They all are. If you're not watching this gem, tune in! Trust me - the words of wisdom abound!

The Lady and Sons

This weekend the hubs and I went to Orlando for a good friend's wedding. It was so much fun - I haven't been to a wedding as a guest in THREE years! I told Marshall it was time for all our friends to start getting divorced and remarried. He said that was a sad thought.

Anyway, on the way back from Orlando we stopped overnight in Savannah purely because I *had* to eat at Lady and Sons. I mean, Paula Deen is the Queen of Southern Cuisine! I had the privilege of eating there two years ago when the bestie and I took a girls' week away (oh, how I long for another of those). So this time Marshall and I went and the Queen did not disappoint!

If you ever get the chance to eat there - go! The buffet is only $16, and it comes with dessert. The Ooey Gooey Butter Cake is DIVINE! I call it Orgasm in a Bowl it's that good.

Oh, Hostess, How you Taunt Me

When I was a little girl, these were my all-time favorite thing:

But then about 20 years ago (OMG! 20 years?!??!?!?) we moved from Maryland to South Carolina where Hostess was nowhere to be found, only Little Debbie.

Now, many of their products are similar. But dear, sweet Debbie did not have Frosted Orange Flavored Cakes with Creamy Filling. None. Anywhere. I looked. A lot.

As a a child far from home with a wicked sweet tooth, this was a deathly blow.

But for 20 years my family has been kindly bestowing the orange fluffy goodness upon me for things like birthdays and other random times. And any time I ventured north I scoured stores for the elusive cakes, hoarding them when I found them and not letting anyone else have any. I still don't let the kids have them.

But slowly Hostess has been moving in a southern direction. I noticed Twinkies, then HoHos (who names a cake HoHo anyway?). I have been monitoring the small shelves for months now, waiting patiently.

Then it happened. Little orange packages of sunshine! They had arrived! Twenty years after I got here, my Hostess cupcakes did too! Yay!

All is right with the world again. But I'm still not sharing with the kids. They can find $1.29 and buy cupcakes for themselves.

Go - go - get 'em - get 'em

I have nothing exciting to share today. Well, I have plenty of well thought out blog posts in my head, but no time to type them out right now, so here's a video of the Clemson Tiger Band Drumline with the Tiger Band Kids Club yesterday. Enjoy!

Kudzu

A friend of mine recently posted this "news story" to his Facebook page. Someone in North Carolina thinks this kudzu-covered phone pole looks like a crucified Jesus.

Charles Buchanan  /  AP

Okay, now, folks. Here's the thing. This is not the first "Kudzu Jesus" to appear in the news. In a previous life, when I worked for the local TV news station, we got calls about these things all the time. In fact, a quick google image search comes up with 39,800 results for "Kudzu Jesus."

Like this:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/2329643/posts

If you are not familiar with the non-indigenous Southern plant known as kudzu, let me brief you. It's a Japanese plant brought to the US for erosion control - only here in the US Kudzu has no fauna to eat it, so it's grown very prolific. It's everywhere, people. Nothing can stop it - we've tried! It's been nicknamed "the vine that ate the South."

This was once a house, people!   http://www.theresilientearth.com/

 In fact, Clemson frat boys dress up in it - for fun - for parades. I can't imagine the ants in their pants after that.

Stupid frat boys...

Anyway, the stuff is everywhere... and I had prepared to write an entire post about finding Christ in the Kudzu, but I was sidetracked by memories of college and the Kudzu Kids, so maybe I'll save the Jesus post for another day and just sit back and recall my yesteryears.

Have a happy 4th, y'all.

Southern Is as Southern Does

My daughter has developed a Southern Accent. I'm not entirely sure where she got it from. I have a slight one that comes and goes, but I don't "accent" the same words she does.

For instance - Ice is not "eye-ssss" it's "ayh-ssss." And right here comes out as "rh-yat hee-yah."

I wish I could video it for you to show you, but when I ask her to say "ice" she says it properly. Only when she's speaking without thinking does the accent come out.

I think it's cute. It goes with the Double-Barrel first name and the love of red, white and blue and ice cream.

She's a Southern Girl. And I couldn't be more proud!

Camaraderie

This week in my Bible Study class, the topic turned to "the good old days" when everyone raised everyone else's children. When I was growing up, my parents were at the least friendly and at the most good friends with our neighbors. It helped that there were 6 houses in a row with children within 5 years of my own age. But if a child was gone too long, the parent would call all the houses and someone would say, "Oh, yes, she's here!"

But that turned the conversation to how we just don't have those friendships anymore. I don't know my neighbors at all, let alone their names. Of course, none have young children, so we don't just bump into them as we're going along. But I have never purposefully gone to talk to them.

And I don't have the friendships I used to have. I have three great friends. None of which I see (two live hundreds of miles away). And I have several "friends." I put that in quotes because I would say they're my friends, but we have not had the chance to just hang out and get to know one another. Usually they work and I don't, or the kids make it impossible for deep conversation where we can learn about each other.
But I also find that we just don't seek out those relationships anymore. We're too busy. We have too much on our plates.
One lady said she couldn't remember the last time her family was invited to go to someone else's house for a meal. Another said she invites people over all the time and most politely decline, but those who come leave as soon as the meal is over. They say they don't want to impose.

Where's the camaraderie we used to have as an American society? Where we spent time - real time - with one another. We live in such a fast-paced, Facebook world that we just don't spent time with one another.
Why would I need to sit down over coffee with Kim or Shari or Amanda to hear what's going on with them when I can read it as it happens on Facebook, text or email?

I think we need to move back to a society where we care about each other enough to take the time to sit down and get to know one another face-to-face. Take the time to talk and get to the point where we can share experiences with one another.

What do you think?

When Did That Happen?

People have started calling me Ma'am. When did that happen? I get that two small people call me Mom, and that's cool...but Ma'am? Wow. I feel old now.

And I remember when I was the same age as Hollywood starlets. I would imagine that I was Claire Danes and Natalie Portman and Kate Winslet (especially Kate from Titanic...). They were around my age (Danes was born in '79, Portman was born in '81, and Winslet in '75). Even Britney Spears was born in 1981 - just a year younger than me!
Now big names in Hollywood are just babies. Lindsay Lohan is practically old at 25 years old. Twilight's Kristen Stewart was born in 1990, meaning she turns a mere 21 this year. Miley Cyrus? Yeah, born in 1992... she's not even 20 yet. Dakota Fanning is a year younger than her...

When did I get to be older than theses girls? I mean, I was their age not that long ago. When did that happen?

A few years ago I played in the college alumni band. I asked some of the current students when they were born and they all proudly told me they were born in 1990. I turned beet red to tell them that I had purchased my instrument in 1990. I was 10.
This fall's incoming college freshmen will have been born in 1993! 1993!!!! Babies, I tell you.
What's scarier is that my niece, who I have mentioned on here a time or two, was born in 1997. She'll be in college before we know it. AAaaaaa! Stop the madness. When did that happen?

When did cute 20-something waiters stop checking me out? (Probably when I had kids, huh?)
When did cute teenage girls stop measuring me up to see if I was a potential threat to their awesomeness?
When did I start thinking I could buy a week's worth of groceries on what we spent to eat out one meal?

I'm a grown-up now. When did that happen? And why didn't anyone tell me???

http://villagebooks.com/event/ellen-shea-im-all-grown-upnow-what-includes-mini-workshop-component

So Long, Sweet Tea

I don't do Lent. Um, except that I am this year.

One of the pastors at our church was asking if anyone was giving up on something for Lent, even though we are of a Christian denomination that does not participate in Lent. I think it's something we can do anyway.

If you're unfamiliar with Lent, Here's what the all-knowing Wikipedia says,

"Lent is a time of sacrifice for Jesus. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ."

So I told the pastor (who, by the way, is younger than me, but that's neither here nor there) that I should give up Sweet Tea.
Sweet Tea is my crack. I'm a tea junkie. I need a daily fix. When I went to Scotland 2.5 years ago I took along caffeine pills to make sure I didn't go through withdrawl.

Now, someone said I could simply switch to decaffeinated tea, except that I tend to prefer tea-flavored sugar to sugared tea. It's not the caffeine that's an issue for me. It's the sugar.

So, for the next...6 weeks (OMG, seriously? SIX WEEKS???) I will be tea free.

I'm writing this yesterday (Tuesday) and my final tea is sitting pretty much empty before me. I had no idea it was my last when I ordered it from the Crack House Chick-Fil-A this morning. I would have spent more time with it. I would have enjoyed it more. I may have to keep my cup to make myself feel better. I'm not joking. I'm sweating like an addict just thinking about it (okay, maybe I'm not sweating, but I will have a very hard time with this).

So, you have my permission until Easter to ask to see what's in my cup and make sure it's NOT tea. If it is, you may tsk-tsk me and slap my wrist.

So long, dear friend. We shall meet again soon...


(Just as an FYI - I do think doing anything that will bring you closer to Christ is awesome, regardless of time of year. I don't think it has to be something seriously sacrificial or something as lame as tea...but to each his own. The point is that you are making a sacrifice in order to pray more and bring yourself awareness of where your relationship with God is.)

Southern-isms Part III

Because of the snow I'm feeling lazy today. So instead of a well-thought out soliloquy, I will once again be bringing you Southern-speak. Now, know that in my neck of the woods, some people actually do use these words in day-to-day speech. And know that many people do not use these words in day-to-day speech. But they're fun to toss around anyway. Enjoy!

Awful/Awfully - Yes, this is a word you already know. But in Southern speak it means something different. Here it's a synonym for "very." Instead of saying it's very cold outside, we'd say it's "awful cold." I admit to having used this on occasion when speaking with an older Southern person.

Fixins - This is entirely different from "fixin'," which means to get ready to go somewhere. Fixins is akin to vittles. Food. Ingredients. "I got the roast, but I need to get the fixins for my salad ready."

Gracious Me - An expression of surprise. "Gracious me! Is that Jamie come all the way from Georgia?"
 
Kin - Family. Anyone you are related to. "Heather's not just my kin, she's my friend, too."
 
Mess - A pile or group or large quantity. "He put a mess of ketchup on those fries."

Pole Cat - A skunk. No explanation needed there!

Southern-isms Part II

I thought a few more Southern-isms were in order. I feel the need for a good laugh. Hope you do too...

Yonder

Over there. "Get me the socket wrench, it's over yonder." Yonder can mean a distance of a few inches to across town.

Directly

Soon. "So I said I'd be there directly." Synonymous with "by and by."

Fixin'

Getting ready to do something. "Tell Grandma I'm fixing to make some lemonade if she wants any."

Busted

Broken. Anything that is broken - be it a leg, a car or a dish - is referred to as busted.

Darlin'

A name substitute. Any person around you can be a darlin' - it is NOT a come on when said by the opposite sex! To a 5 year old,  "Well, Darlin', aren't your pigtails cute?" To a 25 year old, "Darlin', will you reach that pepper over yonder for me?" To a 50 year old, "Excuse me, Darlin', but did you graduate from Clemson? You are awfully familiar."

For a Spell

For a little while. Now, a little while can mean 5 minutes or two hours. "I'm fixin' to close my eyes and rest for a spell. Call me when supper's ready."

Sweat like a Stuck Pig

Yeah, this one is fairly self-explanatory. It means you're dripping in sweat.

Knee-high to a Grasshopper

Short. When talking about your childhood, people often say that they were knee-high to a grasshopper.

I hope those brought a smile to your face today, Darlin'! I'm fixin' to go over yonder for a spell...

Game Day Dresses

I'll be the first to admit I'm not a huge football fan. I mean, I don't watch a ton of it, I don't seek it out. I don't understand half of what the refs of do.

But I will tell you I'm a HUGE Clemson fan. All the way. I spent four of the best years at Clemson in Tiger Band. I played in almost every football game Clemson played between 1998-2001 (count 1998, so that is 4 years). I was in it for the band and the camaraderie, not the football.

Before I graduated from college, I had NEVER attended a football game without being in a band uniform. Never. In my world football = wearing a wool uniform. In fact, my senior year at Clemson I wrote an article for Clemson World Magazine talking about being in the band and also what I would wear to Clemson games once I was out of uniform. My dream football outfit: tshirt and jeans.

Since graduating in 2002 I have attended a fair number of games (usually leaving right after the band's halftime show). I have happily donned an orange or purple tshirt and blue jeans each time. It's comfortable, it's in spirit and it's comfortable (what - did I say that twice?).

But as I cruised through campus this past weekend, I noticed the large number of ladies NOT wearing jeans. In fact, they had no bottoms on at all - they were all in dresses. Short dresses. Many in strapless short dresses.

I don't understand why anyone attending a sporting event would think it a good idea to wear a miniskirt. I mean - you can't bend over (okay, you can, but the girl I saw bend over probably didn't realize just how much she was showing off. Or maybe she did and did it on purpose...another story there). It's not conducive to jumping around and cheering and fist pumping (fist pumping in a strapless dress? Yeah, asking for trouble!).

So I just don't get the outfits. Today I saw a girl wearing a wrap-around orange dress (all dresses must be some variation of orange, blue or purple). She was struggling to get up one of Clemson's many large hills while keeping her lady parts covered because her dress kept flapping open. WHY??? Why not wear jeans, or at the very least a slightly longer skirt with leggins?

I also saw a large number of girls who's skirts would have not been allowed in my high school (we had a rule that bottoms must be at the finger-tips). These dresses barely covered underwear - and I'm hoping they were wearing that at least.

I mean, I saw some girls who looked like purple and orange street walkers today. Girls in single-strap silk dresses, girls wearing nothing more than large bandannas. I tried to take some incognito pictures... I'll show you what I mean...

Chicks in dresses, example 1

Streetwalker, I mean girl, in extremely short skirt who showed me more than I wanted to see...

See? Who wears that to a football game? I mean, I get that you're not playing on the field, but still, it's a sporting event, not a homecoming dance. Dress appropriately.
And just for good measure - some men dress oddly as well... A sport jacket? Yeah - total frat boy. but I love the pants!

Frat boy wearing a sport jacket, at a football game, in 80 degree weather.

I just love these pants...who wouldn't love these?

Southern-isms

I'm a Southern girl. My father-in-law might argue with me about that since I was born in Maryland, but he was born in Indiana so I'd call that even.

In The South (yes, The South gets capitalized) we have saying that you won't often hear in other parts of the country or the world. I thought it would be fun to share a few of my favorites with you.

Bless Her Heart
Bless Her Heart is heard in many church circles - especially Baptists. Annie's uncle died? Oh, bless her heart. Little Jimmy's dog ran away? Bless his heart... You mean Rachel is having another baby? Bless her heart! Joey won first prize? Bless his heart! See it works for good things and bad things! It's a catch all phrase.
The Urban Dictionary says this, "1: phrase used by Southern women to excuse themselves for speaking ill of someone else. 2: an expression of sympathy or pity. 3: a polite way to respond to an ignoramus, particularly male, who showers upon you flattering but unwanted compliments."

Buggy
No, not your eyes. A buggy is a shopping cart. I have to admit, I hate this phrase, but since my daughter started saying it, so have I. In The South, a shopping cart is known as a buggy. I'm not entirely sure why, but that's what it us. Sweetie, please get me a buggy from over there, thanks!

Sucker
A lollipop in The South is known as a sucker. I can only suppose it is because you suck on it, but in my house they are known as pop-pops. Used by small children and teachers across the Carolinas and Georgia. Mommy, Jill has a sucker! Can't I have a sucker?

Y'All
Please don't spell this ya'll. Ya'll is not a word, nor is it a conjunction of two words. You + All = Y'All. In The South, this means "all of you." Said by anyone and everyone Virginia and below over to Arkansas. Did y'all want to go to the Clemson/Carolina game this year?

Okay, I think that's it for today. I'll do more of these in the future so that I can educate all you non Southerners!

FYI - if you are not sure exactly what states comprise The South, here you go...

Notice that Texas & Florida are not included. They are NOT Southern.