Wednesday, February 8, 2012

They Didn't Call

Part of our agreement in adopting Mac was that a certain set of his biorelatives would have visits with him four times a year.

I don't really blog about it because it's his and their time, not mine, even though we're all there and I have to answer the same 5 questions for 4 straight hours. But I won't go there. I work very hard not to speak ill of these people, because really they are fairly nice.

They were scheduled to have a visit with Mac in January. Typically, they call about 2 weeks before Visit Month and we set up a date and location for the visit. We've done everything from the zoo to the movies, museums to play parks.

Typically, I get a call for Christmas. They want to talk to "The Baby." I have to remind them that Mac is no longer a baby, but I think they just don't want to use the name we gave him. And typically we get a call for his birthday, having just passed as you know.
And the visit is in-between where they inundate him with old toys he's either too young or too old for and clothes that fit last year. But they mean very well and really do love him. They are very sweet and also usually bring SB a little gift as well.

But they didn't call. No phone calls or cards. No scheduled visit. Nothing. Now, these people are elderly. I've checked the obituaries, I hate to say. Nothing.

I know what you're saying - we could call them, but Marshall and I firmly feel that if they want to see him, they will call. It's not up to us to schedule their visits. We send cards and pictures at appropriate times (Christmas, his birthday, and after visits so they have pics from the visit.).

Did they give up on my son? As much as Marshall and I dread the visits, we think it's the best thing for Mac so we support them happening. They haven't missed one yet. I'm shocked.
I'm happy for me - we don't dislike these people, but we don't trust them with an inch.
But I am so very sad for my son. Why didn't they call? Did the last people from his biological family who cared give up? If they're sick or if they've died, would someone tell us?

Being part of a forced open adoption is a strange thing. It's all so unknown.
I think I will send a card to them with Mac's birthday pics in it... maybe we'll get something back. Even if it's bad news.


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