Not Orbit as in the moon orbits the earth... but Orbit as in the gum.
Not sure what I'm talking about?
Okay, now that you've had your laugh. I'm here to tell you my Orbit experience. Not with the gum - it's really more of a metaphor. Well... just read it...
I went to the dentist yesterday. The hygienist spent an hour scraping my teeth. An hour. My teeth hurt all afternoon, but they're beautiful and shiny and white - no more tea stains! No more gross gunk (though they said I did an excellent job with brushing and flossing). And not a cavity in sight. But I still can't get over the fact that there was an hour's worth of stuff to scrape off my teeth. That's disgusting. But now I have the Orbit "clean mouth."
I mentioned the jaw pain and popping I've had for the last several months. The dentist diagnosed me with a mild case of TMJ. He asked if I was under stressors at home, which could cause the TMJ. And...um...you know all about my stressors, so I won't explain it again. But specifically he asked the ages of the kids and I answered.
He said, "They must be very active."
I replied, "Yes, they can be annoying."
His jaw dropped open and he was shocked. He asked me to repeat myself. I did. He said, "In all my years I have never heard a mother say their children were annoying."
Then he asked the hygienist if she thought her children were annoying. She said, "Sometimes, but I would never say it out loud."
Let me tell you what - this man was cracking up. He couldn't believe I said my kids were annoying. I mean - I love them, really I do - but what 2 or 3 year old (especially combined) isn't annoying at times?
Then - and this is the kicker - the dentist said, "You are brutally blunt."
"Yes, sir, I am. That's exactly what my husband says." And I smiled. Because you know what - I am brutally blunt.
Even with a nice clean "orbit" mouth - I still don't hide the truth, no matter how dirty it is.
"What the French, toast?"