Elbows of Death

Of all the things I inherited from my grandmother - her witty sense of humor, her keen mind, and her love of yellow roses - why did I also inherit the Elbows of Death?

I mean seriously, folks. I could pop a balloon with them. I will not demonstrate because I am afraid of balloons (that's another post all together), but trust me. I could.

I wonder if anyone else in the family has these elbows. My mother doesn't, I know that. And I don't think my aunts do either. Maybe they all just know some mositurizing secret and aren't sharing it with me. I should ask my Aunt Bobbie if she has the Elbows of Death, as she's my grandmothers only living sibling. Maybe people in her fam have these monstrosities.

I'm not joking when I say I can adequetly torture my husband with these things. If one scrapes on you beware - you may bleed! Marshall hates them, as does my mom.

I adored my grandmother (God rest her soul) and I want to be spunky like her...but I don't want my elbows to be classified as deadly weapons!

Anyone have some extra strenght lotion? Must be able to soften something as hard as nails...