Monday, September 5, 2011


I admit it. I've been going to Jazzercise.

At first I was incredibly embarrassed about it, but then I thought it was a great way to make fun of myself so why not put it out there for the world to see?

So The BFF and I (with the fams) went to Clemson's Welcome Back Students festival. Not sure why. We're not students anymore and we're not "back." We've been here. Anyway, we went. And every business under the sun was passing out fliers and coupons. We love coupons.
So the next day, BFF calls and says, "Hey, let's do the free Jazzercise class."
Me: "Um, no thanks. I don't really like beating myself up on purpose."
BFF: "Come on, come with me. It will be FUN."
Me: "There's no way in H-E-double L it will be fun. I'll probably puke."
She relented. I went to Jazzercise.

Now, if you were around in the 80s you probably have the same picture of Jazzercise as I do:

and also:

I was beginning to think I needed to hit up Goodwill to find the brightest leotard and stirrup pants I could possibly find and maybe some headbands and legwarmers to boot.

Instead I went 90s style and wore black leggins and a black tank top. BFF attempted to channel the 80s and wore orange (but in this town, Orange is next to Godliness).

Then I found out that Jazzercise is no longer like how I pictured and is now faced by the lovely Cheryl Burke of Dancing with the Stars...

Not sure she actually does the moves, but she endorses them. It's also backed by these gorgeous women, who's names I do not know, but I wish my back and stomach resembled these somewhat...

Though I have to tell you - this is 100% photoshopped...

So we go. And we sweat. And the instructor - who is probably my mom's age - has no trouble with her moves.
She's jumping and kicking.
BFF and I are huffing and puffing.
Instructor lays down on the floor and can bring herself up to sitting without using her arms. It's called a SIT-UP.
I've fallen and I can't get up.

The instructor also said we have SEVEN layers of muscle in our stomach.
I retorted to the BFF that I had TEN layers of fat fighting and winning that battle.
BFF told me to quit making her laugh and follow directions.
Spoil sport. I gotta laugh at something, right?

But I didn't puke. And I felt pretty good after. And for the super-low "student" discount price, I signed up (hey - I'm a student of life, right?).

I've been going a whole week now. I kinda like it. And listen, if my plus-sized booty can get out there and do it, so can you. I can't say it's the most fun I've had. Not by a long shot. It's hard work and if you know me, I prefer to read and write than bounce around with a bunch of other women - most of whom are OLDER and THINNER than I am. Way to make me feel good.

I got some new kicks, which are pretty awesome (I'm told we can still say "kicks," dig it.). And I'm totally channeling my 80s vibe:

My instructor LOVED them. She was probably my age in the 80s.

I don't know what will happen with Jazzercise. Yes, I'm plus sized and could stand to lose some weight. But that's not why I'm going. I want more energy. I want to feel better about myself inside and out and I know that exercising is a good way to do that. If I happen to lose 20 or 60 pounds, that's great, but if not... I'm just in it for the laughs.


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