Thursday, November 3, 2011

Why I Wanted to Adopt

This is something I get asked a lot. Why I wanted to adopt.

It's both a simple and a complicated answer.

The simple answer is - I always have.
The complex answer is - I always have.

I can recall being a little girl and asking my mother why people kept having babies when there were so many children in the world who needed a home. Why didn't they just adopt those children instead of bringing more into the world. My mom didn't have an answer for that. Who expects their eight-year-old to ask those questions?
Of course, from age five, one of my best friends (still is!) had been a girl who was adopted from India. So I've always been very aware of adoption and felt a calling to it from a young age.

When Marshall and I were dating I knew he was the one for me, but told him point blank that not adopting would be a deal breaker for me. He had to agree to adopt regardless of biological children. He agreed. I don't think he thought a lot about it at that point, but he agreed.
Fast forward to when we were ready for a family. When trying the old fashioned way didn't work and my OBGYN wanted a battery of infertility tests, we began to research adoption agencies. We selected one and went through all the paperwork involved. We waited.

Of course, if you read my story or my testimony, you know I did get pregnant.
But when SB was only a few months old, I knew I wanted to get back into adoption. I saw the signs for Foster Care Adoptions. After wrestling with God over that one for a while, I mentioned it to Marshall and he agreed to go to an informational meeting. We were set - we would adopt through Foster Care.

We only waited two months from approval before we got the call about Mac. We brought him home 2 weeks later (his 3rd Gotcha Day is quickly approaching!). It took 21 months to finalize his adoption. It was the most gut-wrenching experience of my life. It was worse than infertility because I already had the child in my home, worried he would be taken from me.

But he was worth it. When Mac came home it felt right. He was our family.

And now we're waiting to see if God will bless us again with another child. I don't think we feel that our family is complete and we would like to add more children to our family. Of course, our first thought (or at least mine) is always adoption. We were blessed with our short pregnancy earlier this year, and another one would be nice if it happened but we know our chances are slim. Adoption is where I feel called and I think Marshall does too.

So why did we want to adopt? Because we felt called by God to add to our family in that way. Because it was a part of my life from a very young age. Because we have love and room in our hearts to share with children who need a home. Selfishly because I want my arms full. Selflessly because I can't stand the thought of these children going out into the world without a family to come home to or to call when they need it.

If you are an adoptive parent, or are thinking about it, feel free to share your story with us!


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