Throwback Thursday

I know TBT has been going on for a while, but I've been an absentee blogger. I thought I would share.

I put a picture of my cousins and I up on facebook and I was loving it. It's from 1993. I was 12. Yes, 12.

Then I realized. That was OVER TWENTY YEARS AGO. Oh my gosh, I am OLD!

I'm 33 now. My cousins are now 33 (Liz, in the back) and 36 (Heather, in the middle). Wow.

 

 

I love these girls. I don't have sisters. This is the closest I get. *heart*

I Remember My Kindergarten Boyfriend

Do you remember your very first boyfriend/girlfriend? I do.

I was in Kindergarten. His name was Neil. He had auburn hair and freckles. We would always sit near each other in class or at lunch. It was very serious for 5-year-olds.

My son Mac is in Kindy now. And this week is Valentine's. When I suggested the kids make Valentine's for their friends, Mac announced, "I'm going to make one for Jane*! We're going to get married!"

This is news for me. Jane* is a girl in his class. She's an adorable little free spirited girl. I put the picture of his Valentine on facebook and her mother said Jane is very excited about this.

I don't know if either child will remember this when they are grown. But I know I remember the first boy I had a crush on. It meant a lot to me at the time and now the memory is very dear to me. I hope they will always remember the first person who made their heart go pitter-pat.

*Jane is not her real name.


(and - I know I haven't blogged in months. I've been thinking about making a come back.)

The Mother-in-Law Paradigm

Last night I had a revelation.

I have 2 sons. One day I will be The Mother-in-Law. One day some hoochie will swoop in and steal my boys from me.

I told Marshall this, to which he said, "You have a daughter, too. She'll get married one day."

"Yes," I said. "But that's different. Daughters love their mothers always. It's the sons who get sidetracked by new women in their lives. Haven't you heard the saying, 'A daughter's a daughter all her life, but a son's only a son till he takes a wife.'"

He had never heard that. Obviously because he is a son. With a mother. My mother-in-law.

Now, I love my mother-in-law. She's an amazing person. I go to her for advice, and I call her regularly. But I know not everyone has this relationship with their husband's First Love. And yes - there is some tension. I do things different. I made her baby live hours away. I am a very picky eater. Small problems, thankfully. But I do make an effort to spend time with her, talk to her, get my husband's favorite recipes from her, etc.
I hope I'm half the mother-in-law she is one day.

So one day my baby boys will grow up and get married. They will love another woman more than they love me. Will they move hours away? Will their wives - and my extension they -  turn their backs on me at some point? Will I ever get to see my grandkids?

I know I have years and years before this happens. But I hope I can be a great mother-in-law. I hope I can be accepting of other women getting the affections of my boys. I hope I can be nurturing, loving, accepting, and yet distanced from my sons and their wives - supportive without butting in. What a delicate balance.

What is your relationship with your mom-in-law? How do you think you'll be as a mom-in-law one day?

My Son is Amazing

I can only imagine what would have happened to my son had he not been adopted.

Adoption Day

He entered foster care at about six months old. He was placed with a kind foster family. When we met them I could tell they cared deeply for him. I wish I knew more about that time in his life, but I don't. It's sad, but I'd rather have the next 50 years than that one year.

We brought Mac home when he was 10 months old. It was 3 days before Christmas. We had his first Christmas, first steps, first birthday. I am so thankful God granted us that time!

It took 21 months to adopt him due to an unforeseen custody battle with the family he was removed from. But he's ours, 100%. That was 2.5 years ago. So hard to believe!

Now Mac is an amazing 5 year old. He is the kindest child you will ever meet. He often gives up his portion of treats or prizes so other people can have them. He is selfless to a fault (I often have to remind him that he deserves treats as well and to stop giving things away all the time). He's a charmer - all females love him from young to old. I think it's because he's just so inviting and open, people are drawn to him.

Mac is fiercely loyal to his family, especially his brother and sister. While I know he and SB fight all the time, they would defend each other to anyone for anything. And with Jay - he is smitten with that baby. Always hugging him and playing with him. I love to see him interact with his siblings.

We would never know this about him if we had not adopted him. In fact, I wonder if he would have been like this had he remained in the family he was born in to. I'm not trying to bash them, but they were not good people. They did not nurture him.

My son is amazing. He is a quality human being. He is smart, funny, giving, talented, bubbly, dedicated, athletic... And he is MY son. My son. Thank you, Lord, for this amazing boy.

And he wouldn't be my son if it weren't for the gift of adoption.

Have you considered it?

South Carolina Foster Care Adoption Stats

As you know I live in the great state of South Carolina. I love where I live. It's peaceful, beautiful, and the people are wonderful.

Too many South Carolina children are in foster care. My son was one of them. He entered care as an infant - about 6 months old. We are so thankful we could bring him home permanently when he was 10 months old. We finalized his adoption when he was 2.5. He made me passionate about adoption. He made me passionate about adopting from foster care.

Looking at nacac.org, in 2010 nearly 1,700 children were waiting to be adopted from foster care in SC. And for those waiting - a majority had been in foster care over 3 years already.

For those adopted, the average age was 6 years old. And the average age of a child waiting to be adopted is 8. That's an average. Studies show that once a child hits 9 years old, the chances of him or her being adopted drops drastically.

According to the site, white children are adopted more than other races. 42% of the children waiting to be adopted are white - and 53% of adoptees were white. 44% are black, and only 34% of those adopted were black.

14% of children in SC's foster care system were adopted in 2010. Amazingly, 83% went back to parents or a relative! That's so encouraging! (The remaining 3% either aged out, ran away, or were listed as "other.")

59 South Carolina children aged out of foster care without a permanent family. That means no family to come home to at Christmas. No family to encourage them in college, work, or anything else. Noone to turn to when they need help.

If you want more information about SC foster care and/or adoption, check out the SC Foster Parents Association. You can also check out the SC DSS page.