Where did the Time Go?

Oh my! Where has the time gone?

It's about time for baby! Holy cow!
If things go as scheduled - he will be here before next weekend. About a week left! I can't believe it. I definitely feel a sense of panic about being ready. I'm scared for how we will handle the (big) kids and how they will adjust.

But really I know I just need to rely on God and go with the flow. Everything will be okay even if we hit little bumps along the way. And if we need anything, we can get it easily enough I'm sure.

And, for fun, here's a comparison shot from me a week before I had SB and now about a week before we have baby Boy!

And I'll say - forgive me if I am very infrequent in posting in the next few weeks! I will update as I can!

Maternity Photos

I thought I would share my maternity photos with you all. Because I love them and I think you will, too.

 

And bonus of the kids, because they're getting so big!

I am just so tired

Look, I'll be honest. I'm wiped out. And I do mean wiped out.

At 30 weeks pregnant, I don't want to do anything. Folding laundry hurts. Seriously. Walking is like torture.

My poor children. They want attention and things like food. Don't they understand that I just don't wanna? I mean I just don't wanna! I love them and I want the best for them, but really - they want me to feed them and play with them and take them places.

I'm just too hot and weary these days. I keep assuring them my energy will come back one day, but it's hard to explain, and of course then we'll have the baby and our current normal will interrupted again.

I realize I'm being a stick-in-the-mud at the moment. Bear with me for a while longer. Hopefully we'll have a baby in about 8 weeks and then we'll figure out a new routine!

Adoption Security or Usurped Feelings?

One of my biggest struggles as a parent right now is making sure my adopted child, Mac, knows that he is and always will be a part of our family. I think this is something all adoptive parents do throughout their child's life, but I guess I feel an extra need to do so now because I'm pregnant.

Right now it's easy - we have one biological child and one adopted child, one girl and one boy, and everything is even-steven. But with the impending arrival of bio-child #2 and boy #2 I wonder if our son will feel usurped in any way.

And yes, people will tell me I'm over-thinking this, and maybe I am. But, regardless, I never want Mac to feel like he's been replaced because we suddenly had "our own" son. I want him to always know he is our own son, even if his DNA is different from ours.

But the question arises how to do that. How do you make a 4-year-old feel secure when he doesn't recognize that his actions are pointing to feeling insecure? (He's been lying, acting out, and other things that tell us he's having a hard time coping with something.)

Right now my only answer is to spend a lot of time with him. I make a point of giving him extra cuddle time. When he misbehaves I'm trying to look at his motives and see what might have prompted his misdeed. Does he need some extra attention? Is he feeling left out of something?
He's very invested in this baby, too. He calls it his baby. He wants to listen to the baby. I hope that by feeling connected to this new baby he will also feel secure in his position as Big Brother.

I've talked to other moms who have adopted and bio children, but I think I have a unique situation in that most families I know adopted then went on to have bio children. Whereas we had a biochild first, then adopted, and are now having another biochild. Still, I am reassured that their adopted child(ren) have not resented their parent's biological offspring or felt like they had lost their position within the family.

If you are an adoptive and bio parent - what did you do to help your adopted child feel more secure in your family? Your feedback is appreciated!

Names

Today I am 28 weeks pregnant. 12 (probably less) to go! I am so excited and Baby Boy is also wiggling around in excitement!

But there's one kink in my plan. This baby needs a name! Marshall and I felt like we caved and found out the gender of this child - you would think coming up with a name would be easier to only have to pick one (with SB we had to pick two since we didn't know boy or girl).

We just can not agree. Or, rather, we agree on names we like, just not on what is THE NAME. Nothing is screaming, "This is his name!" to us.

I suppose we 'll have to wait until he's born and see who he is. Until then, he will remain "Baby Boy."

The Glucose Test

Last Friday I went in for my one-hour glucose (diabetes) test. These things are not fun, people, and I sincerely hope I don’t have to do the 3 hour one. 

But what was different this time is that I was told to load up my sugars for 3 days before the test, then the morning of to not have any sugar at all. I’m pretty sure I was not told this six years ago when I was pregnant with SB. Part of me was thrilled – YES! Milkshakes, doughnuts, candy bars! But the other part of me is fairly convinced the doctor’s office is just trying to set me up for a fall. I don’t want to fail!

So I went in bright and early Friday morning to drink the orange concoction. I remembered from the last time that starting off it wasn’t too bad. Sweet and orange flavored. But it took me the full 10 minutes allowed to finish a small glass because half-way through “sweet and orange” became “the devil’s candy.” It was gross. Too sweet. Too orangey. 

I was ready to face this sucker once again. The orange drink actually didn’t taste as bad as I remembered. I drank the whole thing down in about 2 minutes, happy to have that part over. I pulled out my book (“The Nineteenth Wife”) and read for an hour. Listen, I would be happy to drink this junk much more often if it meant an hour of uninterrupted reading! 

Thankfully my results came back “excellent,” and there’s no sign of diabetes – which is great because this baby is measuring a good pound over what he’s supposed to! I’m happy to have this part over with – bring on the 3^rd trimester!

Well, I was wrong!

And I admit it!

Since I have been aware of this pregnancy, I've felt like this child would be a girl. And I was wrong.

It seems we have a child of the male persuasion. I am excited, humbled, and scared to death! Two little boys in my house! Miss SB was not too thrilled with maintaining her Only Princess status, but I'm sure in time she will adjust.

Here's the video of our big reveal



I will post more details about the reveal party later this week! Until then, I'm off to think of names and nursery decor!

Baby Update

I went to a fetal specialist this week because I've been having some issues with bleeding during this pregnancy. I can not tell you enough how scary it is to bleed while pregnant, so we were looking for some answers.

And we got some. It seems I've had some placenta degeneration. I have tried looking up info that didn't sound pertifying, but everything online seems to jump to worst case scenarios. The issue is that part of my placenta has disappeared - just a small portion - and that is what's causing the bleeding. The Doctor said not to worry, it happens fairly frequently, and everything should be fine.

The baby looked great. We got a few pictures, heard the heartbeat, and watched him/her wiggle around a little bit. I'm feeling a lot more movement now, which is very reassuring. I'm waiting for those big punches!

The tech did find the gender and sealed up the results. They are now in the hands of my BFF who will rig up a surprise for our reveal party in 2 weeks! (Don't hate if you don't dig reveals, I think it's awesome!)

So here's a picture of our little one!

Sometimes I Feel Like I'm Cheating

On Adoption.

I really love blogging about adoption. And talking about it. And anything that has to do with adoption. I'm a huge adoption proponent and we do plan to adopt again one day.

So one of my first thoughts about finding myself pregnant is that I'm cheating on adoption.

I mean, I was the little kid who asked my parents why people kept having babies when there were so many who needed homes already. Why not just adopt them?
And I still feel that way.

I do understand the sentiment of, "It's a little piece of me that will keep on going after I'm gone," but I feel that way about my adoptive child just as I do my biological child. I see no difference just because my son's DNA is different.

However, when one goes through infertility and miscarriage, achieving a sustainable pregnancy is quite an accomplishment. It's very exciting and of course you would do nothing in the world to jeopardize it.

But I do sort of feel like the adoption community will think I've turned my back on them. I promise, I haven't. Adoption is still the most beautiful thing I can imagine. It builds families and I love that.

So don't think I'm going to stop talking about adoption just because I'm pregnant. It will never stop!

Anxiety

I was diagnosed yesterday with anxiety.

I have never been so relieved to have something wrong with me.

For the past several weeks I've become worse and worse in terms of being anxious. The pregnancy, of course, plus the kids, the husband. Trying to maintain the house while wanting to do nothing but sleep. Trying to juggle everything I need to do.

It's not more than I can handle...but my brain has gone into defense mode. Everything is making me panic, and it's not getting better.

I talked to my doctor yesterday and she said I could take a low dose prescription that would be safe for the baby and should help me regain control over my mind.

This is not new for me. I had post-pardum depression when my daughter was born. And I had some mild anxiety when we brought Mac home. I was expecting to have some PPD this time around, but wasn't prepared for needing something now.

If you feel depressed or anxious, talk to your doctor! It is a medical condition just like diabetes. There is treatment for it! Don't be afraid to tell someone how you are feeling! I know it will make a world of difference for me!

Hello 2nd Trimester

I don't want to turn this whole thing in to a pregnancy blog, because that's no fun, right?

But right now I'm so tired all the time I'm lucky to take the kids through the McD's drive thru for lunch and crash while they're eating greasy fries and watching Phineas and Ferb.

But I've entered the 2nd trimester. I'm supposed to have more energy and want to do things like nest. We'll see if that happens.

But I promise the minute I have energy to do something, I will blog before making my family a nutritious meal. I have my priorities straight!

The Name Game

So, since I am now pregnant with child #3 (all is going well, thanks! 13 weeks today.), of course the topic of names has come up frequently already.

I am a huge name nerd. Just any old name will not do. Just any "pretty" name, or a name where we say, "Well, I just liked it." will not do for us.

When we named SB and Mac it was a labor of love.
SB was named for my grandmothers - both of them, which is why she has a double name. Her middle name is after one of my college roommates who passed away 7 years ago (2 years before she was born).
Mac is a Fourth. So he's named for his father, his grandfather and great-grandfather.

So when it comes to the idea of naming another child, the stakes are high. We pretty much will not consider anything that's NOT a family name. Plus it must have a good meaning. And we have to like it, and it has to "fit" with the other kids' names.

And the other factor? Marshall and I have to AGREE.

We pretty much agree on a girl's name. At least one part of it. I want the name to be a middle name, even though she'd be called by that name, because we have a LONG standing tradition (for 150+ years) of using a certain first name in my family. He doesn't seem to be too keen on the idea.

For a boy name, we both have our favorites that are not the other's favorite. There are some "runner up" names we both agree on, but they're not that one wonderful agreed-upon name.

Yes, I know we have time. And it's a good thing because it will take us another 27 weeks to agree on something we're willing to commit to paper!