Goals: Can't Make 'Em if You Don't Try

I have goals in life. I mean, don't we all? But I have lofty goals. I have many goals I haven't reached and I've been 29 for a few years now! I'm not getting any younger! (Or older, if I have my way.)

So I thought I would share some of my goals with you. Accountability and all, right? And I realized I can't achieve my goals if I don't try. I will fail if I don't even make the effort.

Here are my life goals. All of them. Some I have achieved, and they are crossed off. But way too many are sitting idle without my doing much about it. Ready? Here we go.

Family:

1. Become a mother
2. Adopt a child
3. Foster children who are aging out of the system
4. Be the "cool house" where kids feel comfortable hanging out and talking to me
5. Raise children to not be homicidal maniacs and/or criminals
6. Raise children to love the Lord
7. See children married off so they're their spouses' problem

Career:

1. Write a book
2. Write more than one book
3. Attend a literary conference
4. Have a sit down with a publisher even if they don't pick me up
5. Be sure a publisher picks me up
6. Hold/own a hard copy of each of my published books
7. DJ my own radio show
8. Become a public speaker and encourager 
9. Get paid to write and/or talk

Faith:

1. Realize I don't have it all together
2. Realize nobody has it all together
3. Pray more, gossip less
4. Show my faith to everyone around me
5. Give my friends a hand up when needed
6. Serve my community and church more
7. Help my husband be the leader of our home
8. Help my children grow in their faith and love

So these are my goals. Some are a little more lofty than others. Some are fairly simplistic.  Many I can't accomplish at this point yet (no arranged marriages for the kiddos, thank you). But many I can. I can attend a writer's conference. I can work on becoming a DJ or public speaker. And of course I can always pray more.

Help me stay accountable, okay? Thanks!

Hallway Praises

I'm still here. I still don't have a job. I've applied. I've been ignored. I've been denied. And I'm still here. I keep wondering what God has in store.

A very dear friend of mine shared this with me:

I'm doing my best to Praise God in the hallway while I'm waiting for that door. I told my friend that the hallway was starting to get stale and boring. But I'm still praising!

I'm praising for the roof over my head, gas in the car, food on the table, opportunities that knock on occasion, and the plans He's laid out for me. I'm praising for the three children who exasperate me, the husband who also exasperates me, and the smiles they bring to me daily. I'm praising for friends, family, and the kind word from the guy who bags my groceries.

The hallway is not always fun. Sometimes it's dark and smells a little. But I know that means when God opens that door - OH, when God opens that door - the light will come in and it will smell fresh and clean and welcoming. And I will rush through it with arms wide open praising all the way! Thank you, Lord!

Looking for a Job

I'm currently looking for a job. I know, it's been awhile. I've been a stay at home mom since I was pregnant with SB. But it's time. I'm ready to rejoin the work force that I haven't seen in a LONG TIME.

What about those novels I've written? I'm glad you asked. Three novels written. A fourth undergoing major surgery right now. But they don't pay the bills, and until I can afford either self-publishing or a writer's conference, my novels will be sitting in anticipation!

I've put in several applications for photography jobs and several for writing as well. I love being creative! I'm praying that the right job will come along.

I recently had a job interview and it was such a blessing. Even if it's not the position for me, it was great to stretch my interview chops out. I haven't had a job interview in nine years! Yikes! I've been 'self-employed' for so long, I haven't had to go in interview mode for some time.

Getting a job is scary, too, because it means not being home with the baby and not waiting for the kids to get off the bus! I've never had a job-job since being a mother. I'm apprehensive as you can well imagine. But I think it's time.

So pray I can find the job I'm meant to find! 

The Mother-in-Law Paradigm

Last night I had a revelation.

I have 2 sons. One day I will be The Mother-in-Law. One day some hoochie will swoop in and steal my boys from me.

I told Marshall this, to which he said, "You have a daughter, too. She'll get married one day."

"Yes," I said. "But that's different. Daughters love their mothers always. It's the sons who get sidetracked by new women in their lives. Haven't you heard the saying, 'A daughter's a daughter all her life, but a son's only a son till he takes a wife.'"

He had never heard that. Obviously because he is a son. With a mother. My mother-in-law.

Now, I love my mother-in-law. She's an amazing person. I go to her for advice, and I call her regularly. But I know not everyone has this relationship with their husband's First Love. And yes - there is some tension. I do things different. I made her baby live hours away. I am a very picky eater. Small problems, thankfully. But I do make an effort to spend time with her, talk to her, get my husband's favorite recipes from her, etc.
I hope I'm half the mother-in-law she is one day.

So one day my baby boys will grow up and get married. They will love another woman more than they love me. Will they move hours away? Will their wives - and my extension they -  turn their backs on me at some point? Will I ever get to see my grandkids?

I know I have years and years before this happens. But I hope I can be a great mother-in-law. I hope I can be accepting of other women getting the affections of my boys. I hope I can be nurturing, loving, accepting, and yet distanced from my sons and their wives - supportive without butting in. What a delicate balance.

What is your relationship with your mom-in-law? How do you think you'll be as a mom-in-law one day?

The Breastfeeding Post

This is your fair warning. If the title didn't clue you in, this post is about breastfeeding.

When my daughter was born, the whole breastfeeding thing didn't happen. I had PPD, I had a colicky baby, and any time we tried breastfeeding it was at least 30 minutes of crying, and SB wasn't too thrilled either. After 2 weeks of trying and what felt like failing, my mom said I could give her a bottle - it was like a light bulb lit up. We switched to the bottle and never looked back. It was the best decision I made for both her and me.

When I had a second chance come up with Jay, I really wanted to try harder to breastfeed. I knew I could do it. I was armed with everything under the sun - special foods, vitamins, and gear to help me out. The first week was tough. He got a bottle more than he got me, but before giving up for good, I gave it one last try, and you know what? It worked. My goal: nursing for 3 months.
It worked through supply issues - Fenugreek was a life-saver. It worked through trying to get away for a while - the awesome pump I was gifted was amazing.

Jay was a champion nurser! But, that's right, I said was. At six months old we had two things happen. 1 - teeth. Two beautiful little teeth that like to bite. And, 2 - Jay thought lunch time was play time. Alternating between nursing and playing every two minutes left me, well, exposed. So bottle feeding became easier at that point. I weaned him down, switched to the bottle, and pumped for several weeks so he was still getting the good stuff until we switched him over to all formula.

So the point of this entire post is this: Feed your baby however you see fit. If you want to breastfeed for 3 months, 6 months, or 18 months...do it.And when you decide to stop, stop. It's okay. The earth will not shatter. Your baby will not suffer unduly (as long as he or she takes to the bottle all right, of course). And if you just formula-feed outright because of need or choice, that's awesome too. Formula is awesome!

As long as you are feeding your baby and he or she is growing and thriving, it's all good, however you do it.

What did you do? Chime in and share with me!

Pick Up the Poo

I can only imagine all parents deal with this to some extent - disobedience and lying. I mean, it's normal for a kid to test his or her boundaries, right?

Last week Mac decided to test his. He peed on the stairs. About 5 feet from a bathroom. And about 8 feet from another bathroom. And 9 steps and another 5 feet from another bathroom. Get the picture?

I asked him what was going on. He said he couldn't make it to any of the aforementioned potties.

Me: Oh no! Are your pants wet? (I knew this was not the case)

Mac: No.

Me: So how did you have an accident and not get your pants wet?

Mac: I pulled it out of my pants. (you know, "it," the part that pees)

Me: You had time for that but not to make it to the bathroom?

Mac: No. I just decided to pee on the stairs.

I made him clean it up, of course. But I wanted something else. Because not only did he pee on the stairs, but he lied about it.

So I told him maybe as punishment he needed to go in the yard and pick up the dog poo. I'm thinking I'm pretty smart. The punishment fits the crime and all. Besides - we have a chihuahua, he'd spend 5 minutes out there with a shovel and bucket, find nothing, and be done. I mean really - chihuahua poo is tiny and there's no telling where it might be in our big yard.

But Mac bursts into tears over this.

What on earth? I didn't think it was that bad. It's not against the law to have your kid clean up the poo from your yard, right?

I took his hand and calmly asked why he was crying.

His response: Can I at least use a NAPKIN??? **waaaaa**

I couldn't help myself. I busted out laughing. My poor boy thought I was going to make him pick up poo with his bare hands.
He was not too amused with my laughter, so I had to calm down and reassure him I would never make him touch poo with his bare hands. Then I decided that the mere idea of handling poo napkin-less was enough and let the rest of the punishment slide. 

My poor sweet boy.  I'm still laughing over this one!

Greek Easter

If you didn't know, I'm Greek on my dad's side. Something I am very proud of! And one of the best things about being Greek is celebrating Easter Greek-style.

If you're not familiar with Easter in the Greek tradition, let me tell you a little about it.

In Greek, we say, "Christos Anesti!" "Alithos Anesti!" It means, "Christ is Risen!" "He is Risen Indeed!" It's something we say to each other all the time in Easter Season. Of course, Christ is Risen, and saying it in Greek is fun for the kids. 

Of course, in Greek, Easter is Pascha pronounced PAHS-khah. It could also be referred to as Anastasi (ah-NAH-stah-see) meaning resurrection.

One of the best traditions of Greek Easter that really shows the true meaning of Easter - the death and Resurrection of Christ - is a game called Tsougrisma. (The word tsougrisma means "clinking together" or "clashing." In Greek: τσούγκρισμα, pronounced TSOO-grees-mah)

Each player holds a red egg (and I do mean RED), and one taps the end of her/his egg lightly against the end of the other player's egg. The goal is to crack the opponent's egg. When one end is cracked, the winner uses the same end of her/his egg to try to crack the other end of the opponent's egg.
The player who successfully cracks the eggs of the other players is declared the winner and, it is said, will have good luck during the year. 

Why do we play this game with red eggs? Well, eggs symbolize rebirth, and our rebirth as joint heirs with Jesus. Usually the eggs we eat are white symbolizing the purity of Christ, dyed red to show the blood of Christ that was shed for us. 

Give it a try with your family! I promise it will become an annual tradition!




 

Teething Sucks

I mean seriously - teething sucks.

I love the toothless grins Jay gives me. They're sweet and happy. And I nurse him, so I'm happy to keep teeth out of that equation.

But now at 5 months old we're fully into teething. I'm just waiting for those bottom two teeth to pop through. But man, the agony, screaming, crying, restlessness - it is horrible. And Jay isn't too thrilled about it either.

But I guess I'm due for a bad teether. SB and Mac were great teethers - No fuss, no fevers...just some drool and suddenly a tooth.

But man, it sucks. Big time.

I've Ignored You Long Enough

Life with three kids is kinda crazy! I am so blessed, but tired and sadly for you, the blog has taken the lowest spot on the totem pole. Nursing and Sleeping have taken over my computer time, and I'm lucky if I check my email every day - that doesn't always happen anymore!

Jay will be 8 weeks old this week. I can't believe it. He's doing great! He's still big, he nurses like a champ, and he's smiling more. I am so in love with him it's crazy. I did not feel this way about the other two so soon!

Mac is just as wild and crazy as ever. He's learning a lot this year in 4K and his teacher loves him. He is such a happy, giving child and I love watching him love on Jay.

SB is the true diva. She scored in the 97th percentile for Kindergarteners and she's pretty much the lead dancer in her class. She's a true talent.

Marshall and I are also doing well. It's crazy hectic these days, but we're doing our best to communicate and spend time together. Between work, kids and the rest of life it's hard but we both know a marriage is hard work, so we're doing our best to make it a priority.

I will try to get back to blogging more now that we're getting a routine down and figuring out our new version of normal.

Be blessed and check back soon!

First day of School, Part II

So SB started school about 2 weeks ago and it's been pretty smooth sailing so far. The best part has been spending the days with Mac. He's such a cuddly guy and so much fun. I've really enjoyed the one on one time I've had with him.

But yesterday he started school. He's doing an afternoon PreK class at the elementary school. He eagerly grabbed his Angry Birds backpack and his monkey lunchbox and headed off. He gave us the kiss on the hand his teacher required of him and refused my request for a hug because his teacher didn't include hugs in her instructions.

After school he said he played with a boy named Ty, ate all his lunch and that SB came and sat with him while they waited for my mom to pick them up. I'm so glad he enjoyed himself!

Here are a few pics from his big day!

My Initial Thoughts on School

SB has been in school 2 weeks now and I have several observations to make.

First - Whose bright idea was it to have school start at 8am? I mean, we live only 2 miles from school and we still have to get up at the crack of dawn to get SB ready.

Second - I don't like not talking to the teacher every day. I've spent the last 3 years picking my children up from their classroom...often with 10 minute conversations. Last year SB's teacher was one of my best hang-out buddies. I've only talked to the kindergarten teacher in passing. I have to communicate with her via notes in SB's backpack. I know she gets "stars" each day, but I don't know what happened - well without it being seen through the eyes of a 5-year-old.

Third - The pick up line! Arugh, the pick up line! It takes 30 minutes to get through the line. Either I get in line early and sit until school dismisses, or I get there and slowly scoot up in 10 foot increments. Now, this is far more preferable to the bus (who wants their 5 year old on a bus with 12 year olds???), but it's still a pain in the butt.

But I'm loving how SB is already thriving. She's drawing her teachers pictures. She told me the other day one girl was sad because she didn't have anyone to play with and she cheered her up and played with her. I was so proud.
She is very tired after school, but she's trying to adjust to a 6 hour school day as opposed to 3, but she's doing good.

Next week Mac starts his 4K class. He will be going in the afternoon though! Drop off at 11:30 and then pick up the kids together. We'll see how it goes with him! I can't wait!

Where did the Time Go?

Oh my! Where has the time gone?

It's about time for baby! Holy cow!
If things go as scheduled - he will be here before next weekend. About a week left! I can't believe it. I definitely feel a sense of panic about being ready. I'm scared for how we will handle the (big) kids and how they will adjust.

But really I know I just need to rely on God and go with the flow. Everything will be okay even if we hit little bumps along the way. And if we need anything, we can get it easily enough I'm sure.

And, for fun, here's a comparison shot from me a week before I had SB and now about a week before we have baby Boy!

And I'll say - forgive me if I am very infrequent in posting in the next few weeks! I will update as I can!

Smile!

What makes you smile?

Sure, sure, there's the usual suspects - hubby, kids, a good glass of wine...

But what else? What makes you break out into that slow smile that makes you feel like a million bucks?

One of the things for me is talking about adoption. When anyone at all asks me, "Tell me why you adopted." Or maybe, "What was your adoption like?" I get that feeling. I smile wide and I could talk about adoption options, the process, different types of adoption...I could talk about it for hours!

Another thing is books. Reading gives me that high. When I finish a book, especially one with a wonderful ending, I can't help but smile. When I read the good parts - the juicy parts - I smile. And of course, when I read the hard parts I cry. But mostly, I smile.

And who doesn't love to smile when they see an old friend they haven't seen in a long time? Now, it's been a while since I've seen someone I have not seen in a while. But even talking on the phone, or getting a sweet text from someone special or someone you haven't heard from in a while - it builds that giant smile.

So - those are a few things that make me smile! Share yours!

This post is part of MamaKat's writing promt: Aside from your kids, pets, your husband, your coffee and your wine...what makes you smile?

The Wave of Dismissal - AKA The First Day of School

Round about an hour ago we dropped our eldest off for her first day of school.

Big School. Elementary School. Her first day of Kindergarten.

SB woke up twice last night with jitters. With the assurance that everyone else had jitters as well, she went back to sleep until the oh-so-late time of 6:50 when I forced everyone to get up.

So far I'm not a fan of the whole "school starts at 8" thing.

We all dressed, ate, made sure SB had all her things, and loaded up in the car. The school is only 2 miles from our house, so it's a quick trip, thankfully. I think the drop off line took longer than the trip to school.

With the car parked we all walked in. I was ready. We found her class, where I took a picture of SB with her picture outside the door. And another one at her cubby. She hung her backpack, put on her name tag and walked away.

That was it. No tears. No kiss. Not even a hug. When I called out, "We're leaving," I got a wave of dismissal in return.

A wave of dismissal, y'all. For a kid who woke up twice last night with jitters I was not ready for the wave of dismissal. Marshall said we could go give her a hug, but I didn't want to push it or embarrass her. I let it go.

So no tears were shed - even by me. 

We came home and now Mac is watching the TV show he never gets to watch with his sister around. What will we do until 2:30? It's a new world for both of us!

Alone Time

Last Friday my husband packed up the kids and headed to his parents' house for their annual family reunion. I didn't go both because of how pregnant I am and because I figured I could use the down time.

And use it I did! I cleaned up and out both kids' room, which was amazing. Took two HUGE boxes to a consignment store, and even more to Goodwill. Mom and I set up the baby's room so it's ready to go! (We just need the baby!) I also washed a lot of baby things, plus got on top of the rest of the laundry. And I spent a lot of time with my mom, which was so precious! I love time with my mom!

But after about 4 days I started getting bored. I had done most of my "chores." I had relaxed a TON. I slept till 10:30 in the morning. It was heavenly. I watched what I wanted on TV (really, most TV is crap).

Marshall and the kids were gone a week. Friday to Friday. It was LONG. By Wednesday I was desperate for them to come home, but I knew this would be my last chance for quiet.

In 10 days school starts for the kindergartener. A week later my preschooler goes back. Then we're just counting down days until the baby comes. It's the calm before the storm!

I'm so thankful for this time, but I'm so glad to have my chaotic family home!

It's almost that time!

The kids go back to school in 2 weeks! I am so excited and nervous!

Both will be starting at a new school - it's known to be one of the best schools around, so that is very exciting for me as a mom. I'm excited that they'll be getting back into a regular routine.

On the other hand, I'm so nervous. SB will be in school all day. I won't know what she's doing all day and that gives me some worries. And Mac will be in half a day, but it's a new school with teachers who are not familiar with him.

I know it will be wonderful for them. And I'm glad we should have a few weeks of them being in school before the baby comes so we can build into this new normal slowly.

I'm excited for school to start back! I think the kids are excited too!

Maternity Photos

I thought I would share my maternity photos with you all. Because I love them and I think you will, too.

 

And bonus of the kids, because they're getting so big!

The Time I had No Friends

Last summer I had been complaining to my husband and mother that I had no friends. We had been at our current church for 3 years but I still felt like I had no personal relationships (in a church of over 2000, it's hard!). I knew plenty of people, but didn't have real friends. And to top it off - my BFF had moved across the country so I was feeling especially down.

At the encouragement of my mom and husband, I decided to invite a huge bunch of women out for a night on the town. (And, thankfully, the BFF had moved back home already!) We went out to eat and to a new wine bar. Seven women showed up. Most of them had never met the others. By the end of the night, phone numbers and facebooks were exchanged.

It was magical. I had been so worried I couldn't pull the group off, but it was a hit. We decided to meet monthly as a chance to get away. I dubbed us the "No Kids Allowed Mom's Club." We currently have about a dozen or so ladies. Some come each month, some sporadically. Some invite friends or sisters and every one is welcome. The only qualification is that you want to relax, spend time with some great girls, and converse with someone of an adult variety.

This month marked out one-year anniversary of meeting. I cannot believe that a year later we're still going strong! We have become friends! We can call on each other when we need something, we can laugh and cry over everything and anything. And even right now - 4 of us are expecting...something none of us expected!

Last weekend this wonderful group threw me a surprise baby shower. I was so humbled. I emailed one girl later asking for her address to send her a thank you, and her reply was that the email was thanks enough and that I was awesome. It made me smile so big. I have friends.

A year ago I would have told you I was quite down on my luck in the friend department. Good friends. Friends I could call on when I needed them. And this year - they threw me a baby shower. I have friends who love me and I love in return.

I am so blessed! I can't wait to see what the future holds for our group!

If you are feeling like you're in a friendless slump - call up some ladies! Moms from school, your Bible study, college friends who are still in the area - anyone - and invite them out! It will bless your socks off even if only one or two ladies come the first time. We women must make an effort to maintain these relationships. It's so easy to let family, job, etc get in the way of fellowship with other women. Make the effort and I promise you will be blessed!

Here is some of what we have done as a group:

• Went to a wine bar
• Movies
• Dinner
• Painting Class
• Chick-Flick Night
• Dinner parties
• Saw a comedienne 
• Spa & pizza night
• Christmas shopping

Cosmetic Procedures on Kids

Last week my beautiful daughter, SB, lost her first tooth. It's all very exciting and she got WAY more than anyone should ever got for a simple tooth - a Merida (from Brave) doll, $4 from my mom and $1 from me (who she knows is the Tooth Fairy).

Why so much for a tooth? Well, she didn't lose it in the conventional way. It was pulled.

You see - about 18 months ago SB had a run-in with a window sill. The window won. And while her mouth and tooth completely healed - one of her front teeth was left permanently blackened from the trauma.

Marshall and I discussed our options and finally decided with kindergarten coming up next month, the tooth needed to go. There was too much potential for teasing - something SB has already dealt with where the tooth is concerned.

So last week she went to the dentist - Merida in hand - and had her tooth pulled. She was very brave, my sweet girl. She doesn't remember a thing about the extraction, thankfully, and she recovered beautifully.

SB looks so grown up now with a tooth missing. And she was very excited about not being teased anymore - in fact it was the first thing she said when it was done...that no one would point out her black tooth any more.

Was it a vanity move? Yes. Yes it was. I read an article not long ago about a mom catching flack for having her daughter's large ears pinned back for purely cosmetic reasons. But you know what? When your child is being teased and there's a way for you to remove or fix the issue - as a parent, you do it! No matter the cost or berating from others, you do what you can to protect your child.

I looked at SB today and the gap where her tooth used to be and I think we made a wonderful decision for our child. Something that will boost her confidence and brighten her smile. And that makes it all worth it!

Top 10: Things You Didn't Know About Me

Self-confession time! Here are ten things you probably didn't know about me!

1. I have a sweet tea addiction, but I didn't try it until I was 21 years old. 
2. I have a mad crush on Food Network's Guy Fieri. Marshall knows and seems okay with it.
3. When I was a kid, I wanted to play the cello, but the music store was out of them. The trombone was the only wind instrument I could get a sound out of so that was what I got. I have been playing since I was 10.
4. I shave my toes. I hate shaving my legs, but every few weeks I shave the hairs off my toes because they gross me out.
5. I insist on grocery shopping alone. It's like a mini-vacation away from the kids.
6. I take timeliness very seriously. If we're going to be 5 minutes late, we might as well not go.
7. I once won a hula hooping contest.
8. If someone had told me when I was 13 I was going to marry Marshall I would have laughed in their face. I'm so glad I was wrong.
9. I'm not above bribing my children to get what I want out of them.
10. As much as I love visiting family who live at the beach, I would be thrilled to never go to Myrtle Beach again. I wish all the family there would move up here to the mountains!

So, 10 things about me you might not have known... Did anything surprise you?