Throwback Thursday

I know TBT has been going on for a while, but I've been an absentee blogger. I thought I would share.

I put a picture of my cousins and I up on facebook and I was loving it. It's from 1993. I was 12. Yes, 12.

Then I realized. That was OVER TWENTY YEARS AGO. Oh my gosh, I am OLD!

I'm 33 now. My cousins are now 33 (Liz, in the back) and 36 (Heather, in the middle). Wow.

 

 

I love these girls. I don't have sisters. This is the closest I get. *heart*

The Mother-in-Law Paradigm

Last night I had a revelation.

I have 2 sons. One day I will be The Mother-in-Law. One day some hoochie will swoop in and steal my boys from me.

I told Marshall this, to which he said, "You have a daughter, too. She'll get married one day."

"Yes," I said. "But that's different. Daughters love their mothers always. It's the sons who get sidetracked by new women in their lives. Haven't you heard the saying, 'A daughter's a daughter all her life, but a son's only a son till he takes a wife.'"

He had never heard that. Obviously because he is a son. With a mother. My mother-in-law.

Now, I love my mother-in-law. She's an amazing person. I go to her for advice, and I call her regularly. But I know not everyone has this relationship with their husband's First Love. And yes - there is some tension. I do things different. I made her baby live hours away. I am a very picky eater. Small problems, thankfully. But I do make an effort to spend time with her, talk to her, get my husband's favorite recipes from her, etc.
I hope I'm half the mother-in-law she is one day.

So one day my baby boys will grow up and get married. They will love another woman more than they love me. Will they move hours away? Will their wives - and my extension they -  turn their backs on me at some point? Will I ever get to see my grandkids?

I know I have years and years before this happens. But I hope I can be a great mother-in-law. I hope I can be accepting of other women getting the affections of my boys. I hope I can be nurturing, loving, accepting, and yet distanced from my sons and their wives - supportive without butting in. What a delicate balance.

What is your relationship with your mom-in-law? How do you think you'll be as a mom-in-law one day?

My Son is Amazing

I can only imagine what would have happened to my son had he not been adopted.

Adoption Day

He entered foster care at about six months old. He was placed with a kind foster family. When we met them I could tell they cared deeply for him. I wish I knew more about that time in his life, but I don't. It's sad, but I'd rather have the next 50 years than that one year.

We brought Mac home when he was 10 months old. It was 3 days before Christmas. We had his first Christmas, first steps, first birthday. I am so thankful God granted us that time!

It took 21 months to adopt him due to an unforeseen custody battle with the family he was removed from. But he's ours, 100%. That was 2.5 years ago. So hard to believe!

Now Mac is an amazing 5 year old. He is the kindest child you will ever meet. He often gives up his portion of treats or prizes so other people can have them. He is selfless to a fault (I often have to remind him that he deserves treats as well and to stop giving things away all the time). He's a charmer - all females love him from young to old. I think it's because he's just so inviting and open, people are drawn to him.

Mac is fiercely loyal to his family, especially his brother and sister. While I know he and SB fight all the time, they would defend each other to anyone for anything. And with Jay - he is smitten with that baby. Always hugging him and playing with him. I love to see him interact with his siblings.

We would never know this about him if we had not adopted him. In fact, I wonder if he would have been like this had he remained in the family he was born in to. I'm not trying to bash them, but they were not good people. They did not nurture him.

My son is amazing. He is a quality human being. He is smart, funny, giving, talented, bubbly, dedicated, athletic... And he is MY son. My son. Thank you, Lord, for this amazing boy.

And he wouldn't be my son if it weren't for the gift of adoption.

Have you considered it?

South Carolina Foster Care Adoption Stats

As you know I live in the great state of South Carolina. I love where I live. It's peaceful, beautiful, and the people are wonderful.

Too many South Carolina children are in foster care. My son was one of them. He entered care as an infant - about 6 months old. We are so thankful we could bring him home permanently when he was 10 months old. We finalized his adoption when he was 2.5. He made me passionate about adoption. He made me passionate about adopting from foster care.

Looking at nacac.org, in 2010 nearly 1,700 children were waiting to be adopted from foster care in SC. And for those waiting - a majority had been in foster care over 3 years already.

For those adopted, the average age was 6 years old. And the average age of a child waiting to be adopted is 8. That's an average. Studies show that once a child hits 9 years old, the chances of him or her being adopted drops drastically.

According to the site, white children are adopted more than other races. 42% of the children waiting to be adopted are white - and 53% of adoptees were white. 44% are black, and only 34% of those adopted were black.

14% of children in SC's foster care system were adopted in 2010. Amazingly, 83% went back to parents or a relative! That's so encouraging! (The remaining 3% either aged out, ran away, or were listed as "other.")

59 South Carolina children aged out of foster care without a permanent family. That means no family to come home to at Christmas. No family to encourage them in college, work, or anything else. Noone to turn to when they need help.

If you want more information about SC foster care and/or adoption, check out the SC Foster Parents Association. You can also check out the SC DSS page.

Foster Care Facts 2013

I realize I've been an absentee blogger. My computer doesn't have a "home" anymore, so I just don't sit around like I used to. Great for the house work and kids - bad for the blogging.

May is National Foster Care Awareness Month. We adopted our oldest son through foster care, so it's something that's near and dear to my heart. I do a literal happy dance when someone tells me they're going to adopt through foster care. These kids need homes and love!

According to the childwelfare.org, the latest data I can find is for 2011, there were over 400,500 children in foster care throughout the US, almost half of which were in non-relative foster homes. And for about half of those kids, the goal is to get them back with their family.

Sadly, 6% of them - that's over 24,000 children - are in group homes. In Upstate SC, where we live, there are several children's homes that are at capacity. It breaks my heart and we regularly make donations to some local homes to help out. 

In the 2011 fiscal year over 250,000 children left foster care (yay!). Just over half (52%) went back to their parents. 20% were adopted (that's 50,000 kids), and 14% went to live with another relative or guardian.
With the kids who left foster care, 46% spent under a year in care. I'm fairly impressed with that number. I mean, ideally no kids would have to go into care, but I'm glad that it's less than a year for almost half of them. Sadly, 16% will spend more than 3 years in care.

I bet you're wondering how old these kids are. The median age for a child in foster care is 8.8 years old. That's because many of them don't get into care until they've entered elementary school. The average age of entry is about 6.5.
This is scary. My daughter is 6.5. I can not imagine her being ripped from her family, no matter how dysfunctional, and being thrown into a family dynamic she had no clue about. Can you imagine your kids doing that?

So what will become of these kids? 

Of the estimated 400,540 children in foster care on September 30, 2011:

• 52 percent had a goal of reunification with parent(s) or
• principal caretaker(s).
• 25 percent had a goal of adoption.
• 6 percent had a goal of long-term foster care.
• 5 percent had a goal of emancipation.
• 3 percent had a goal of living with other relative(s).
• 4 percent had a goal of guardianship.
• 5 percent had not yet had a case plan goal established. 
  
  
  So you can see the facts are...sad. Really sad. So many children. Over 100,000 waiting to be adopted in 2011. Did you know if all the adults in the three counties around me adopted one child, no more children would be waiting for parents in the US. And those are just the ones ready to be adopted. 
  But if you paid attention - 100,000 kids waiting. Only 50,000 were adopted. So 50,000 more kids were left waiting for a forever family.
  
  If adopting, fostering, or even doing respite care is an idea in your head, look into it. Why not? Gather information. I promise it's worth it!

Greek Easter

If you didn't know, I'm Greek on my dad's side. Something I am very proud of! And one of the best things about being Greek is celebrating Easter Greek-style.

If you're not familiar with Easter in the Greek tradition, let me tell you a little about it.

In Greek, we say, "Christos Anesti!" "Alithos Anesti!" It means, "Christ is Risen!" "He is Risen Indeed!" It's something we say to each other all the time in Easter Season. Of course, Christ is Risen, and saying it in Greek is fun for the kids. 

Of course, in Greek, Easter is Pascha pronounced PAHS-khah. It could also be referred to as Anastasi (ah-NAH-stah-see) meaning resurrection.

One of the best traditions of Greek Easter that really shows the true meaning of Easter - the death and Resurrection of Christ - is a game called Tsougrisma. (The word tsougrisma means "clinking together" or "clashing." In Greek: τσούγκρισμα, pronounced TSOO-grees-mah)

Each player holds a red egg (and I do mean RED), and one taps the end of her/his egg lightly against the end of the other player's egg. The goal is to crack the opponent's egg. When one end is cracked, the winner uses the same end of her/his egg to try to crack the other end of the opponent's egg.
The player who successfully cracks the eggs of the other players is declared the winner and, it is said, will have good luck during the year. 

Why do we play this game with red eggs? Well, eggs symbolize rebirth, and our rebirth as joint heirs with Jesus. Usually the eggs we eat are white symbolizing the purity of Christ, dyed red to show the blood of Christ that was shed for us. 

Give it a try with your family! I promise it will become an annual tradition!




 

Thanksgiving

I realize this year just how blessed I am. God has blessed me in ways I could never have imagined 10 or even 5 years ago.

He has given me an amazing husband who adores me (he even texted me so!). He gave me the gorgeous red-head to make me a mom for the first time. He allowed us to adopt Mac and share our love and receive his. And just 10 weeks ago, God granted us a second son in Jay who is a joy and whose toothless grins melt my heart.

But I am also blessed with amazing parents who would move the world for us. Fabulous in-laws who support us and love keeping the kids. Terrific friends who will drop what they're doing to be with you and help you.

Not to mention our new house. The washer and dryer that are STILL going after 13 years. Food in the pantry. Shoes on our feet, clothes to go in that washer and dryer.

I am so thankful for all of this! It's so easy to look and God and say all the things you want, ignoring the things you have. If you live in America, Canada, the UK, Australia and other advanced countries - you have way more than most of the rest of the world. Be thankful! Thank the good Lord for the things you have already been given!

Where did the Time Go?

Oh my! Where has the time gone?

It's about time for baby! Holy cow!
If things go as scheduled - he will be here before next weekend. About a week left! I can't believe it. I definitely feel a sense of panic about being ready. I'm scared for how we will handle the (big) kids and how they will adjust.

But really I know I just need to rely on God and go with the flow. Everything will be okay even if we hit little bumps along the way. And if we need anything, we can get it easily enough I'm sure.

And, for fun, here's a comparison shot from me a week before I had SB and now about a week before we have baby Boy!

And I'll say - forgive me if I am very infrequent in posting in the next few weeks! I will update as I can!

Alone Time

Last Friday my husband packed up the kids and headed to his parents' house for their annual family reunion. I didn't go both because of how pregnant I am and because I figured I could use the down time.

And use it I did! I cleaned up and out both kids' room, which was amazing. Took two HUGE boxes to a consignment store, and even more to Goodwill. Mom and I set up the baby's room so it's ready to go! (We just need the baby!) I also washed a lot of baby things, plus got on top of the rest of the laundry. And I spent a lot of time with my mom, which was so precious! I love time with my mom!

But after about 4 days I started getting bored. I had done most of my "chores." I had relaxed a TON. I slept till 10:30 in the morning. It was heavenly. I watched what I wanted on TV (really, most TV is crap).

Marshall and the kids were gone a week. Friday to Friday. It was LONG. By Wednesday I was desperate for them to come home, but I knew this would be my last chance for quiet.

In 10 days school starts for the kindergartener. A week later my preschooler goes back. Then we're just counting down days until the baby comes. It's the calm before the storm!

I'm so thankful for this time, but I'm so glad to have my chaotic family home!

Ice Cream, I Scream

Hello bloggers! How are you? Good, good. Hot, isn't it? At least here in the South East it's hot. More like a low and slow boil.

But - I have the magic answer that has solved everything since we were kids... Ice cream.

And if that's not enough. Here's a stack of Oreo's, just in case...

I love to blog about my family. I'm called Momma by two - my redheaded SB whom I birthed in a not too traumatic experience, and my funny Mac whom my husband and I adopted in a very traumatic way. I'm currently pregnant with our third child, a still-unnamed boy, whom we will meet come September.

Mi familia: SB, Me, Marshall & Mac

Baby Boy at 27 weeks

I am so glad you stopped by! Please take a look at my favorite posts linked here.

And please, please read my God-given testimony here.

Otherwise look around, grab a scoop of your favorite flavor, and sit back! Thanks for visiting!

Surgery & Faith

A week ago my niece had her second brain surgery in less than 2 years.

Madison has an optic glioma tumor and while it was not cancerous, it was dangerous.

In October 2010, Madison had about 75% of the tumor removed. While scared, she said she knew God would bring her through the surgery - and He did! We were all so relieved.

Then came the word that a second surgery would be needed. There were many tears and prayers over this second surgery. Why did she have to go through this again? She is only 15 years old - wasn't one brain surgery enough?
But again, Madison knew her God would pull her through. She told me on the phone a little before her surgery that she knew God had a purpose for her going through this. She knew God would pull her through so she could give him the glory. And while she did break down in tears sometimes, she has held up and been one of the strongest individuals I know - teen or adult.

So last Thursday she endured another 8 hour surgery that might have taken her eyesight. Friday morning she woke up and could recognize everyone in the room. She could see! And despite a row of staples in her head, she was in great spirits and recovered in amazing time. So amazing, in fact, her surgeon sent her home Sunday.

All I can do is shake my head and say, "Thank you, Lord." I don't know another teenager who would have been so brave. I don't know another adult who would have been so brave. Madison's faith not only kept her positive and led to a quick recovery - but it also showed her non-believing Uncle that God has a hand in every life. He said afterward he could see how God was working in her life.

I have loved Madison from the day she was born. I have prayed for that child for 15 years. And I am so awed and proud of the strong Christian girl she has become. I hope she carries her faith and her testimony everywhere she goes...

Another Little Update

I am a horrible blogger. We are still waiting to get internet (somehow our magical line that connects us to the cyber world is broken and needs to be replaced), so getting online is few and far between for me.

Things are plugging along. We've been in the house about a month now, but the unpacking is slow going with 2 preschoolers and my being pregnant. But we love the new house and the location! If only we had internet!

I am now 26 weeks pregnant! I can't believe it! I am so humbled to be this far along. Baby Boy is moving and punching as I type. We're still discussing names, but I think we have a frontrunner that both Marshall and I agree on. We'll see!

Me at 24 weeks pregnant

Mac got into the 4K program at the public school! I am so happy he and SB will be at the same school, but it breaks my heart a little that he qualified. In SC the 4K program is needs-based only. So if you don't need it, you don't get it. Apparently Mac's needs were enough for him to get in.

SB and I were extras in Marshall's movie. We filmed our 2 seconds of fame last week. Mac was out of town with grandparents (SB opted to stay home). So when Redemption of the Commons comes out, look for a very quick flyby of SB and I during the "grub" scene.

SB on the movie set

Speaking of the movie - there's only about a week left of filming! Woohoo! Being a single parent this past month has been horrible. I know it could have been much worse, but I have been miserable, and poor Marshall has been coming home to my crying over pregnancy aches and pains and preschool attitudes. He's such a trooper. I hope this movie is a HUGE success.

Hopefully I will be blogging a little more often in the weeks to come. And hopefully internet (and sanity) will be restored soon! Until then!

When I Met a Boy

One of MamaKat's Writing Prompts this week was Describe where you were when you met a boy.

So I thought I would tell you about where I was when I met my son. He was a boy, and I had to meet him.

I first saw my son's picture on Dec 7, 2008. A cute little guy with ears that stuck out. My husband and I said yes - we wanted to bring him home.

Mac, once we got him home.

On Dec 22, we put SB in the car and we drove two hours to a small, stinky trailer where the wallpaper was literally peeling off the walls. The place reeked of smoke so much that my eyes burned.
But the people inside were quiet, nice. Our son's foster parents were a little older, but not old. They both had tears in their eyes and did not smile. They had taken care of our son for three months - I'm sure they were attached to him, used to him, felt like they knew him.
Then I saw him. The little boy from the picture. He was sitting in a baby walker, bumping along in that tiny trailer. Three days before Christmas and he was wearing a white "wife-beater" tank top, blue plaid pants and navy blue shoes. His cheeks were as red as Rodolph's nose. He had bronchitis and a double ear-infection.
The social worker had told me not to take a ton of pictures in their house, so I refrained and sadly don't have any pictures from that first hour. But that's okay. I have the boy.
We stayed for about an hour. I asked if the baby had a lovey - a blanket or toy he loved. They said no. And he didn't take a pacifier either. He never cried, they said (we later learned he did not know how to cry), and was an easy baby.


His things were in two big black trash bags. One was Christmas gifts still wrapped up. I felt bad that they had probably had to remove those things from under their tree. I realized later that his name had been on one of those angel trees because all the gifts were pricey. I prayed and silently thanked those who were willing to give to my son.
When SB - who had just turned two - announced she was ready to go, we left. I took one picture of my son with his foster parents. For their privacy I won't share it here. We put the kids in the car and left.

Mac and his social worker

We got home and put SB down for a nap. We looked at the expressionless little boy in front of us and wondered what to do with him. He was 10 months old and I had no idea what his schedule was, what he ate, what he enjoyed. I suddenly wished I had the foster parents' phone number to call and ask, but we never saw or heard from them again.
I washed his things twice and they still reeked of smoke. I threw it all away. I kept two little stuffed animals and a blanket his foster mother had crocheted for him.

It's been almost 3.5 years and I will never forget the day I met my son, Mac. This is part of his story.

Well, I was wrong!

And I admit it!

Since I have been aware of this pregnancy, I've felt like this child would be a girl. And I was wrong.

It seems we have a child of the male persuasion. I am excited, humbled, and scared to death! Two little boys in my house! Miss SB was not too thrilled with maintaining her Only Princess status, but I'm sure in time she will adjust.

Here's the video of our big reveal



I will post more details about the reveal party later this week! Until then, I'm off to think of names and nursery decor!

A Wedding and a Funeral

Spring break was crazy week for us.

Friday Marshall and I dropped the kids off with the in-laws and we drove to Orlando for a good friend's wedding. It took 11 hours to get from our house to the hotel. And I learned that pregnant woman can't hold their pee for more than 2 hours.

Saturday was the wedding. It was lovely and we are thrilled for Jason and his bride April

Jason and his bride

Sunday we drove half way to the beach and stopped in Savannah where we ate at the Lady and Sons (as previously mentioned). And we completed the trip Monday, getting to my in-law's house at the beach in the afternoon.

We had a great time visiting with family, but the family got the sad news that a dear family friend had passed away very suddenly. We stayed an extra day so Marshall could attend the funeral (I kept the kids at the house).

Marshall and his brother Marcus

It was a full week that started with a new beginning and ended with finality. But I know that the person who passed away had his own new beginning sitting at the foot of the Lord.

He gives and takes away.

Greek Easter & The Red Eggs

Christos Anesti!
Christ is Risen!

My dad's family is Greek Orthodox, and even though I'm not, we still like to celebrate Greek Easter. Teaching my children to say, "Christos Anesti! Alithos Anesti!" has been one of my parenting highlights.


If you're not familiar, it translates to "Christ is Risen! Indeed He is Risen!"
In Greek, Easter is called Pascha, pronounced PAHS-kha. Or it might be referred to as Anastasi (ah-NAH-stah-see), which means resurrection.


This year, Greek Orthodox Easter is April 15th, but occasionally Orthodox and "Western" Easter line up.


So what makes Greek Easter so special? I'm so glad you asked!


One of the big things we do in MY family is to do Red Eggs.

Red eggs (in Greek: kokkina avga, κόκκινα αυγά, pronounced KOH-kee-nah ahv-GHAH) are perhaps the brightest symbol of Greek Easter, representing the blood of Christ and rebirth. We also dye eggs other colors, but rarely will a Greek Easter be celebrated without lots of red eggs. 

We play a game with these eggs called Tsougrisma and it involves two players and red eggs.

Each player holds a red egg, and one taps the end of her/his egg lightly against the end of the other player's egg. The goal is to crack the opponent's egg. When one end is cracked, the winner uses the same end of her/his egg to try to crack the other end of the opponent's egg.
The player who successfully cracks the eggs of the other players is declared the winner and, it is said, will have good luck during the year.
The word tsougrisma means "clinking together" or "clashing." In Greek: τσούγκρισμα, pronounced TSOO-grees-mah. 

We play around the entire table, you try to crack the eggs of the person to your left and right, and whoever ends up with the last un-cracked egg wins. 

Of course, playing egg games is not what Easter is all about - Protestant or Orthodox.
It's about the Resurrection of Christ. The slaying and raising of the Holy Lamb, the Perfect Sacrifice.
Orthodox Christians (like Catholics, Greek and Russian Orthodoxes) observe Lent - a period of fasting of some sort for 40 days. They attend services on Good Friday and again on Resurrection Sunday. 


But the Eggs... the Eggs white and pure, unblemished like Christ. Dyed RED to show that Christ took on our sins, then cracked like the opening of the empty tomb.
They pretty much sun up Greek Easter for me.

 

*Just a note, Greek Easter is next week, but we typically celebrate on regular Protestant Easter.

Sometimes I Feel Like I'm Cheating

On Adoption.

I really love blogging about adoption. And talking about it. And anything that has to do with adoption. I'm a huge adoption proponent and we do plan to adopt again one day.

So one of my first thoughts about finding myself pregnant is that I'm cheating on adoption.

I mean, I was the little kid who asked my parents why people kept having babies when there were so many who needed homes already. Why not just adopt them?
And I still feel that way.

I do understand the sentiment of, "It's a little piece of me that will keep on going after I'm gone," but I feel that way about my adoptive child just as I do my biological child. I see no difference just because my son's DNA is different.

However, when one goes through infertility and miscarriage, achieving a sustainable pregnancy is quite an accomplishment. It's very exciting and of course you would do nothing in the world to jeopardize it.

But I do sort of feel like the adoption community will think I've turned my back on them. I promise, I haven't. Adoption is still the most beautiful thing I can imagine. It builds families and I love that.

So don't think I'm going to stop talking about adoption just because I'm pregnant. It will never stop!

The Name Game

So, since I am now pregnant with child #3 (all is going well, thanks! 13 weeks today.), of course the topic of names has come up frequently already.

I am a huge name nerd. Just any old name will not do. Just any "pretty" name, or a name where we say, "Well, I just liked it." will not do for us.

When we named SB and Mac it was a labor of love.
SB was named for my grandmothers - both of them, which is why she has a double name. Her middle name is after one of my college roommates who passed away 7 years ago (2 years before she was born).
Mac is a Fourth. So he's named for his father, his grandfather and great-grandfather.

So when it comes to the idea of naming another child, the stakes are high. We pretty much will not consider anything that's NOT a family name. Plus it must have a good meaning. And we have to like it, and it has to "fit" with the other kids' names.

And the other factor? Marshall and I have to AGREE.

We pretty much agree on a girl's name. At least one part of it. I want the name to be a middle name, even though she'd be called by that name, because we have a LONG standing tradition (for 150+ years) of using a certain first name in my family. He doesn't seem to be too keen on the idea.

For a boy name, we both have our favorites that are not the other's favorite. There are some "runner up" names we both agree on, but they're not that one wonderful agreed-upon name.

Yes, I know we have time. And it's a good thing because it will take us another 27 weeks to agree on something we're willing to commit to paper!

Big Surprise! You don't want to miss this one!

God is full of surprises - big and small. And this one is big. Well, technically it's still pretty small - but it's growing every day.

That's right, folks, we're having a baby.
I'll give you a minute for the shock to wear off.

I know I said I would not be having any more biological children, and I promise I didn't think I was. But my plans are not the same as God's plans. And since His plans are always perfect, we'll go with His.

This little one should be making a grand entrance right at the start of football season (woe to have a football season baby).

So stay tuned in for all the latest on Baby3!

It's a Miracle to me...

I hope my cousin doesn't mind my blogging about her, because I'm going to do it anyway.

When Marshall and I started dating 13+ years ago, my cousin, Heather, was a single mom with a young toddler running around.
Marshall and I prayed for God to work in Heather's life. That she would find a life mate that would accept her daughter with open arms, that she would find happiness, and that she would accept Christ as her savior.

We prayed this for many years. In all that time, Heather bought a house - on her own, held a wonderful job, raised her daughter, and began to go to church.

And a few years ago, Heather married a wonderful man who loved not only her, but her 12-year-old as well. She and her daughter were baptized into the Holy Family of God.

And just last week, while talking on the phone, I was getting choked up because she was telling me she knew that God was at work, that God could do miracles and that people just needed to have faith. I was trying so hard not to cry and alarm her, but I was so proud of her.

It may not seem like much to you. But for me - someone who has prayed for the salvation of her entire family, but especially her wonderful, dear cousin - this is a miracle. One day, when I get to heaven, I know that Heather will also be going, too.

I can't say it was our prayers that did this - certainly not. But I know that through our prayers, the prayers of others and her willingness to accept God's calling in her life, a miracle of faith did happen.

And it can happen for you and your loved ones, too. Never give up.

Heather - if you read this - I love you. You are truly an inspiration to me and many others. And we know that God will prevail!