Before my husband and I were married we had The Kid Talk. All serious couples have this discussion.
Will we have kids?
How many?
How long will we wait before having the first?
And how long to wait between children?
Often a couple does not discuss struggles in trying to get pregnant or whether or not they would adopt if they did have struggles (or regardless of struggles).
One of my very best friends was adopted and I can recall being young and wondering why people kept having children when so many were out there in need of a home. Before Marshall and I ever talked marriage I told him I would never consider it unless he agreed to adopt at least one child regardless of biological children. He agreed.
When we did have fertility struggles despite our best efforts, we applied to adopt. Long story short - it was then that God decided I should get pregnant.
Six month after our daughter was born we applied to adopt through DSS. It took almost a year and a half, but we got approved and brought home our son via foster-to-adopt.
If we hadn't had that talk before getting married - would adoption have been a last resort? If we hadn't had fertility struggles, would we have tried to adopt at all? I can tell you right now that I can't imagine life without my son. He's my child, regardless of who gave birth to him. Adoption brought him to us and if we hadn't been willing to follow that path we wouldn't have him and our daughter wouldn't have her brother.
I know adoption isn't for everyone, but if you've ever considered it - pray about it and see where God is leading you. You might find out you're missing a part of your family that only adoption can fill!
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