I do not like it, Sam I am, I do not like the Sun and Sand

I am not an outdoor person. If you know me, you know this.

In my perfect world, we're always inside, Kindle (or book in the pre-2010 world) in hand, and always a comfy 68-75 degree temperature span.

We have the technology - why do we continuously subject ourselves to the torture that is outdoors? It's hot. I think satan is jealous of our heat. There are bugs. Everywhere. I think satan is jealous of those, too. Why didn't he think of them? Ha can have them. I don't want them.

Right now if we go outside we're all instantly wet and sticky from sweat. Did you know that South Carolina is incredibly humid? So not only is it 100* out, but it's something like 1,000,000,000,000% humidity as well. So it's hot and muggy and just wet. And it's gross. And then the bugs think you look and smell delicious so they attack in full force ready for any flesh they can attach to.

Mac loves being outside in summer. He's not much for cold, but he loves the hot. I think it's because he has no fat on his little body so he's okay in summer and too cold in winter. He will run around drenched in sweat happy as he can be while the blood suckers realize dinner has been served.

SB is a little different. She tries to love the outdoors. She wants to go outside. But after 5 minutes I'm hearing, "I'm itchy. There are bugs. It's HOT! I'm going inside." That's my girl!

But they both love a pool. Doesn't matter where, they love to swim and splash. Me, not too much. It's okay on occasion, but I realized recently that it's still outside. I would rather sit and read than exert the extra energy and would rather read indoors and watch than participate.

Don't even get me started on the beach! This could be a whole other post! Why do people subject themselves to extreme heat, up-you-bum sand and throngs of people dressed in the least amount of clothing legally allowed? I could understand it 20 or 30 years ago when homes didn't have air conditioning, but we have it now, people! Good grief!

I'm just not an outdoors person. I do not like it, Sam I am. I do not like the sun and sand.